By Samantha Tubby, Lawyer
Mediation is a great way to finalise family law matters. But it can be a bit daunting to commit to and sometimes a bit overwhelming.
At FoJo we always work towards making our clients’ mediation experience a positive one. Where you feel heard and supported and ensuring you receive helpful information beforehand to prepare you.
If you have a mediation coming up, here are some practical tips to help you navigate the day:
- Look up the address and directions to the venue in advance, including where to park. It is important to know where you are going so you can eliminate any stress on the day and ensure you arrive on time. You could even do a test run a few days before to settle any nerves or uncertainties. If you have mobility needs, check to see if the venue can cater for your needs, if not, chat with your lawyer about your concerns.
- Plan your arrival time with your lawyer. They will be able to coordinate a staggered arrival time so that you don’t run into your ex in the waiting area or carpark. An earlier arrival time can also ensure you have time to settle in and talk with your lawyer before the mediation starts.
- Consider whether you want to bring a support person. This could be a friend or family member. Keep in mind their role isn’t to be involved in the mediation or to speak for you, but to provide emotional support and/or reassurance.
- Take the day off work as you will need to be focused on the mediation. It may be tempting to do some remote work, but this will likely add to your stress and impact your ability to focus.
- Mediations can be unpredictable and can run longer than expected, especially if you are close to reaching an agreement. We suggest arranging for a friend or family member to handle school or daycare pickups. Having a backup in place for childcare will allow you to focus on the mediation.
- It is important to remember that it’s a negotiation. Bring along a proposal or idea of an outcome you would be comfortable with but be open to hearing alternative solutions. Mediations often require a level of compromise from both parties in order to reach a settlement. You may find it is better to compromise in one area to get your ideal outcome in another.
- At one point or another, you will likely feel that you’re giving up a lot and your ex is not doing the same. This feeling is completely normal, and we can assure you the other side will likely be feeling the same thing. Ultimately, you will need to be prepared to negotiate and focus on the bigger picture. Try not to sweat the small stuff.
- Mediations can be long and emotionally draining. Don’t hesitate to ask for breaks when needed, and take the time to stretch, take a breath and clear your head. Breaks can help you reset and think more clearly.
- There will likely be periods of the day where you are sitting alone, particularly when the lawyers are meeting to negotiate on your behalf. Feel free to bring along whatever you may need to help you feel more relaxed and your mind occupied. Some people like to bring fidget toys, laptops, books, snacks and the like. And if you bring a device, remember a charger!
- Don’t forget to eat! There is nothing worse than trying to make decisions or negotiate with low energy or an empty stomach. Being “hangry” is a real thing and it’s not helpful in mediations! Confirm with your lawyer beforehand if lunch will be provided, and if not, should you pack your own. Don’t assume lunch will be provided and/or there are cafes around. If lunch is being provided, be sure to advise of any dietary requirements beforehand.
Above all, remember the three Cs! Confidence in your lawyer. Comfortable in your surroundings. Willing to Compromise.
If you have any questions about how you can benefit from mediation, please give our office a call on 6248 8477 or via email to hello@fosterjohnson.com.au
